Okay. After scrambling around my room for an hour or two, decorating every corner and wall, I now feel all pooped out. Disappointedly enough, there's still quite a heap of clutter here and there. It's an organized chaos! I can feel around and know exactly where things are, but I still gotta make my way through the maze of suitcases and clothes lying around. Packing for San Diego while remodeling my room simultaneously was not the greatest idea after all...*smacks forehead* Oy..
Looking around, I guess my room pretty much reflects my life as of right now. Like I mentioned before, everything's an organized chaos. I know what I'm doing now: focusing on working full-time and making them monies while balancing out my time with my family and friends back home. Yet, my future is all fogged up! I don't know where I'm heading. I don't know what obstacles I must face this year. I don't know if fall quarter will be smooth sailing into winter and spring. I don't know how I will deal with the impending stress. My school schedule is a mess as of right now. My pursuit to become a Pediatrician seems more hopeless and discouraging. Those bumps I endured this year have affected me in ways I never expected. Yet, I still managed to pick myself up and keep going. But I've left such a sad mess behind. I need to clean up the loose ends and cluttering thoughts that have flipped my optimism 180 degree into the negative zone. I need to be strong. I need to focus. I need to concentrate on myself, do some soul-searching.
So, what am i doing with my life here?!
I need a sign.
I need to re-decorate my life.
...God, where are you? :(
